Monday, April 9, 2007

olivia's past life

I don’t know the appropriate word…..if it’s intuitive or psychic, but Olivia most definitely has some “abilities.” I am writing this down now in my journal, because I don’t know how long it will last, and I don’t want to forget the details.

My first experience was in the van a few weeks ago. I had picked up the kids at Nana and Papa’s house and was on my way home. I was zoning out, thinking to myself about what I was going to make for dinner, running an inventory of everything I had at home in the pantry when I thought silently to myself, “Well, I don’t have to worry about pleasing Olivia, she loves food.” When all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Olivia says, “Mom, I love food!” I was startled. I thought for a second and confirmed to myself that I hadn’t said that out loud, and yet she recited by thoughts verbatim. What a strange coincidence, I thought. Then I went back to planning my evening.

THEN, a few weeks later we were in the van on the way home and I was once again daydreaming. We had been in the car for about 20 minutes and were on the south side of 465 when we passed a Country Inns and Suites hotel and my thoughts started wondering to my ex-boyfriend Steve. I was just rambling in my head…..I wonder if he still lives in the same house, if he’s with someone now, if he’s married…..when all of a sudden, once again out of the blue, Olivia says, “Mom, I want Steve!” This of course made me turn my head around quickly and almost stop the car! I know I didn’t say anything out loud. We don’t have any family members or even friends named Steve….I had no idea where that came from! When I said, “What!?!?!?!?” She replied, “My Steve doll (from Blue’s Clues) it’s in the floor….. Why would she ask for that after we had been in the car for almost half an hour, out of nowhere?

I have been trying to talk to her off and on, asking her questions, searching for answers….. so far I discovered that she had two doctors, Michael and Dharma, that gave her medicine that she liked to drink. They had a camel, but she couldn’t remember it’s name. And an elephant, named Döya (pronounced Doy-like toy, ya). She said her name used to be (spelled phoetically) Duh dee yuk.

August 1, 2007

The other day I was cleaning Chelsea’s room, after cleaning Olivia, Ryan and Rebekah’s room, and Olivia was talking about a ghost in her room. I asked her to describe him to me and she said his name was, “Gary.” Which was weird. Her grandpa Bear, who died on March 17th, was named Gary of course but I don’t think she’s ever heard us refer to him as that. To them we always call him Grandpa Bear, and other than speaking to them it doesn’t really come up much. BUT, I don’t think, at 3 ½ she has the mental capacity to make all those connections. That Grandpa Bear is Gary. That Gary is dead. That dead people become ghosts. I had never even heard her use the word “ghost.” She’s talked about monsters before. She’s had nightmares about monsters and woken up screaming from a dead sleep, but she’s never talked about ghosts….or Gary either for that matter. It was just strange. I believe, in my heart, that she probably did talk to Gary….and just didn’t recognize him. Maybe he presented himself as younger, perhaps even a little boy, and she didn’t recognize him as Grandpa Bear. I mean she hasn’t seen him in over five months now, and when you are 3 ½ that’s almost 1/7 of your life.

August 13, 2007

This is just a post note I forgot to mention. Another quirky thing. Ever since Olivia was a baby whenever, "Rock a bye baby" came on the radio she would break out into horrible heartbreaking sobs....for no reasonable reason. Now that she is older, I had totally forgotten about her "phobia." I popped in a favorite cd that we hadn't played in a while, and ta-da, she started crying uncontrollably again. Now, though, she is more verbal of course, so I asked her, "Olivia, honey....what's wrong?" She replied, thru her tears and snot soaked face, "Mommy, that song is so SAD." Well, yes, of course, it is sad, when you really listen to the words I guess.....but has she always known that? Has she always understood the words? OR, does she associate it with something else...maybe from a life before this one? It's just strange, unexplainable. The song is sandwiched between "Hokey Pokey" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" but it never slips by unnoticed. Even music boxes that play that tune, without the words, get her crying unconsolably. Why?

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