Oh my goodness, I haven’t typed in this journal for a long long time! Almost a year. That’s really sad because that means that there is a year of memories missing. Actually, not quite a year. I think I have added an entry or two to my online journal, I will just have to paste them over.
Here is an e-mail I received this morning from my husband:
Good morning my love!
You said that you like having e-mails waiting on you in the morning, so I thought I'd drop you a little note to tell you how beautiful you are!!
Thanks for putting up with me.
Love,
Me
Yesterday our electricity got shut off and he had a panic attack. I borrowed 236.19 from Mom (to be paid back on Friday) and it’s all back to normal now, no one even knows any different. But he takes things like that very personally. It messes with his pride. I don’t think of situations like those as “big deals.” When the problem is clearly identified, and we know specifically how to fix it. That’s no reason to panic. Now if the electricity was off, we didn’t know why, had no idea who to call, or how much it was going to end up costing….that would make me nervous. But Indianapolis Power and Light? I knew what they wanted and how to reach them—no problem there. I just made a couple of calls and, “Vióla, problem solved.” All of that being said, I DO need to make a budget. Erik takes all of this on himself and it’s not fair. We need to be working together. He takes all of this pressure onto himself because, by not stepping up and assuming responsibility for things, I am leaving him with the impression that I expect him to take care of it. Which isn’t true of course, I don’t expect him to “take care of it,” just to let me know what he needs….which is, to him, equal to walking around the neighborhood in a woman’s brassiere and thong unfortunately.
Ryan is taking electric guitar lessons. He has had 3 lessons so far. He’s going to a guy named Phil Pierle at “All About Music” (or something like that) on the corner of Emerson and Thompson. It’s kind of pricy…it runs about $18/per lesson. He is having his 30 minute lessons on Tuesday evenings at 7:30 p.m. He got an electric guitar for Christmas (a black Fender) and has been begging for lessons ever since, and, I have to say, he seems like a natural to me.
I have been to as many lessons as him of course (being his driver and all) but I just don’t get it. Phil just has to say “G” or “F” and Ryan is strumming like he knows exactly what he’s asking for. He doesn’t even have to say it any more, he just points to the paper and Ryan READS what to do. It’s insane. He knows that this note on this line means you have to put these fingers here and strum across these specific strings. CRAZY. He’s even learning how long it says to hold that note. Although he tends to rush through the counting though. I’ve listened to everything his teacher has said and it doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s almost like my brain just rejects that information. It’s like trying to walk through a closed door. I am right with you……and then…….BOOM. Closed door. I no longer have any idea what you are saying.
I should probably comment here on Easter this year. It was on Sunday, April 12th this year (2009). It was really sketchy for a minute. Grandma Cook fell and scratched herself up really bad a month or 6 weeks before so she wasn’t quite sure if she could host Easter this year, which left all of us in a panic thinking about what back up plans we should have in place for the inevitable day when she isn’t well enough to host it (she is in her 80’s now). But she is ok now.
I went overboard on the baskets AGAIN this year. Picking up little stuff here and there since Valentine’s Day, and then, I go to put it all together, and it’s chaos. Movies, candy, yo-yo’s, bubbles, paper grass (because plastic grass is the spoils of lucipher), balls, magnifying glasses, gift cards—and yet I still feel guilty for not getting kites, sunglasses, and sidewalk chalk. Isn’t that funny? I wonder if we had a lot of stuff in our Easter baskets when we were little. I bet everything was more expensive and harder to find!
