brave?

Now that I have started to write in this blog….and transfer stuff I have already written into it, I am starting to become nervous. The biggest question in my mind is, how much do I reveal? I know that I have been able to just put in a person’s name and essentially look up their “diary.” Should I use this as a forum to discuss my thoughts towards my husband, my children, my job, God? Should I open those thoughts up to anyone who enters my name on a search engine? Should I let the public at large into my mind, my heart, and my soul? I enjoy reading everyone else’s innermost thoughts, and have no anxieties about it. But I don’t know. I have two friends whose relationships have been fundamentally changed because of views that they thought they shared were shattered at 2 a.m. on a Sunday night while one person was “browsing.” Do I tell my husband? Do I open up that part of myself? The only part that is still mine? AND, if I do tell my husband, or friends, is that going to alter what I write? Will I “rephrase” and second guess my entries if I know that my loved ones are going to log on and see the behind-the-scenes thoughts behind my eye rolls and sighs of exhaustion. Do I really want to have an argument and defend every little thought that races through my head? Do I want to jot down all my ideas and thoughts as they come, or do I want to strategically write what will make me look good and avoid conflict? Do I trust people to really get to know me that well? Heck, just writing this makes me a little nervous! I didn’t realize how closed off and secretive I must be, to be this nervous and concerned about being so “exposed.” I also didn’t realize how brave and courageous all those other bloggers are…exposing themselves that way. Maybe I’m not that brave….